Funeral & Memorial Services
Parent Stories
Something our funeral director let us do is transport Kayla to the cemetery. Jim carried her to our van, placed the casket on my lap, and it was the five us all together for a brief moment. I then walked her up and placed her on a stand for the service. I'm so glad he suggested that because I would have never thought to ask.
Lauri, Mom to Kayla, March 23, 2004, died due to Turner’s Syndrome
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Our funeral director had Belle laying on her special blanket on a couch. Her little casket was on a stand by the couch.
During her viewing and service, I sat by her and held her hand.
We had a poem read, and some songs were sung. The funeral director was so touched by her spirit he felt, that he said some words too.
When it was time to go to the grave site, the funeral director wrapped her in her blanket and laid her in my arms. My husband drove us to the cemetery, with Belle in my arms. At the grave site, I laid her in her casket, placed her little bunny with her, and my 2 oldest children tucked her in and closed the lid.
I was so touched not to have her laying in the casket....
Something I didn't think of and was so glad the funeral director did.
Looking back, I wish her small service would have been recorded. Since (my) mom’s funeral, I have gone back and listened to what was said (I have it on CD). Many times, I wish I could do the same with Belle’s.
Melyn, Mom to Belle, Born still February 4, 2004 at 37 weeks due to a cord accident
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One special thing to us was that our funeral director encouraged us to come to the service early (we had his funeral at the funeral home rather than the church) so we could spend time with Wyatt. She encouraged us to hold him, and I was so glad to be able to do so; it was the last time I ever held my baby boy. We even took some pictures at that time, and I will always cherish them. We also were given the choice whether we wanted Wyatt to go to the cemetary with us, which we chose. We held his casket in between us, and my brother-in-law drove us to the cemetary. It was a very bittersweet drive, but very special too. Another nice touch, I thought, was that our funeral director played soft baby music on a cd prior to the service. It was a heartbreaking but lovely touch that I also won't forget. One final thing they did for us which was special is they took a few of his flowers and made a laminate bookmark for us of his obituary with the flowers pressed in it. Oh, I forgot one more. They made us a framed picture of Wyatt with a nice little saying in it, which was also very touching. I couldn't be more grateful to them for how they handled our situation.
Mandy, Mom to Wyatt Taylor, born and died June 5, 2003, due to Potter’s Sydrome
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I framed Tyler's ultrasound pictures as well as the hospital certificate of his footprints. These were on a pedestal by his casket. I also had this froggie pillow that folded and could be propped like a stuffed animal on another pedestal. It was for his crib, and it gave me something to hang on to as we left the funeral home. I had the funeral home wrap him in his baby blanket and we buried him with a few things - a frog toy, a family photo a special cross that would have hung in his room. Also, a portion of his service was open casket for those who wanted to see him to be able to do so. I strongly regret not holding him one last time at the funeral home - I didn't know that was even an option. My grandmother took pictures. I didn't know she was doing it, but I am so glad that she did. My husband and best friend carried Tyler’s casket to the grave. As they were walking, my son (he was 7 at the time) joined them. He said it was the last thing he could do for Tyler. Also, Tyler’s godparents (my aunt and uncle) stayed as he was interred to make sure he was handled with dignity and respect. These actions meant so much to me-I can’t even describe it. It was good for me to know he was never alone.
Jessi, mom to Tyler James - born still at 36 1/2 weeks due to cord entanglement, June 7, 2004
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This is a tradition carried out at Jewish funerals, but I think they are beautiful and wanted to share.
Anyone who wants to lift a shovel of dirt onto the casket is offered the chance. The rabbi explained it that everyone is helping to tuck the baby in. It was so touching to see my loved ones "tucking" Sarah in.
I wish I had someone take pictures during the funeral.
Ilyse, mom to Sarah Elizabeth, born sleeping at 29 weeks, January 7, 2005
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We weren't sure what to do after our miscarriage a couple of months ago, but we knew we wanted to do something. So my husband, our daughter, and I went to the gravesite of our son who was stillborn a few years ago, laid down some roses for both our son and this new little one lost, cried, and said goodbye, and told our babies in Heaven to take care of each other and that we would be with them someday. It was very simple and short, but it was important for us to do something specific to acknowledge this little baby and say goodbye.
Christy Phanthavong, mommy to
Noah Gabriel, s/b 8/24/02, and a miscarried baby
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