If your spouse or significant other cheated on you, then you must be feeling hurt, overwhelmed, and unsure of what the hell to do next. If you want to continue the relationship, it’s time to get in touch with your feelings, yourself, and take control.
Rebuilding trust and forgiving is a process that involves ups and downs, even if you’re the most forgiving person in the world. You will learn how crucial trust is, and how hard it is to gain back once lost.
Forgiving a cheater will never be easy, but following these steps can help you get through it.
Make sure your significant other is committed to making things work. Once you’ve decided that you want to forgive your significant other for the right reasons and that your relationship is worth saving, you have to make sure that your significant other is feeling the same way.
Before you commit to months or even years of hard work make sure your partner is truly there to make things right.
Validate your feelings. It’s important that your significant otheracknowledges your feelings. He or she may be sorry, but sometimes when you cheat, actually always when you cheat, sorry is not enough. You need your partner to know the pain, heartache, and confusion you are going through. Make sure to tell your partner how you really feel, or you will always have more on your mind.
Your significant other should completely understand that he has put you in a terrible position before you can move on. He may be in weird position too, but at least you’re not the cheater.
Have an honest conversation. Having an honest conversation about what happened is the only way to move forward. When trying to move on from being cheated on, you may get discouraged in the progress you are making internally trying to cope. Hang in there.
You should plan a time to sit down with your significant other and to talk about what happened. You may have already argued about it, but this is different from breaking down what happened in a rational way.
Discuss what you can do to make things work. Ask questions like “What will you do to make sure your relationship is stronger and that the cheating won’t happen again?”
Work on having open communication. Once you’ve had a conversation
about what happened, you can work on making honest communication a part of your daily lives.
You should make a point of being open and honest with each other, and of taking the time to listen to what the other person has to say. Make sure to not be passive aggressive. If you’re mad about something, then mention it when the time is right.
If you still can’t forgive your significant other, then let go. If you have tried everything and still cant even… then its time to end things. If you cant stand your significant other, let alone his breathing, or scent, its time to call it quits.
It’s much better to end the relationship than to force yourself to stick around. Your bitterness may only grow, and you could end up growing so emotionally distant that communication is impossible.
Note to all humans (on anything in life, not just cheating) :
Before you decide to do anything, put yourself in the other person’s shoes and think to yourself…
“If she did this to me, would I be okay with it?”
And if you’re unable to see the other person’s side, then imagine this: Everything you’ve ever done to your partner (cheat, flirt, deceive), she has probably done to you. Now how you like them apples?
Know that “happily ever after” DOES exist.
I believe in happily ever after — but I know that it take effort, energy, time, and commitment. It’s hard enough building a happy marriage when no one has cheated, but forgiving and trusting after he cheated is a challenge. However, it is possible to build a better marriage and escape the cheating turmoil. Your marriage may be stronger, happier, and healthier because he cheated.
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